"why do you love him?"
i hope i can see u soon love.
I always find myself struggling to answer this, in every relationship i've ever been; there seems to be no answer to this particular question. And if i ask you the same question, what will your answer be?
"Idk, the heart wants what it wants" and thats my scheme answer, you can use mine if you dont have one.
Yes i have a long list of what i want in a guy, and i thought i was sure about it, but everything in the list keep changing, first it was good guy, until they seem boring, then cool guy sat the highest until they become annoying, and handsome guy caught my eyes until i figured they were just playing, and i always believed i want to marry rich, until the riches don't excite me anymore.
And the funny thing is im always finding myself getting in a relationship with a guy that doesnt check most of the boxes. And i cant fit any of my exes into any definite categories.
Im not a peculiar woman, after all my exes are just ordinary people if u think im trying to shoot for the moon.
i thought about this a lot, too much at one point of my life, until i convinced myself maybe im not into guy, u see it takes a whole lot of confusion to convince yourself into something that ure not.
my friend said im as free as a bird, at first i dont get it, but until i realised i hate being in cage; so i convinced myself maybe i was not built to be in a relationship, maybe i'll be happier alone, not being tied to anyone until the loneliness kick u hard in your left kidney, your right kidney feel the pain too.
im hopeless, hopeless romantic, as much as i hate it, i cant help it. i always wish i have a cold heart, so i acted like having one, being stone cold is hard when yours is made from a thin glass. i know a hopeless romantic cant survived in todays world, so i acted like i dont feel anything and cry during the night, withdrew myself first in every relationship when i see even a slightest possible threat, and then convinced myself i did me a favor from being in a relationship that i will regrets or maybe for just being a fucking cowards. idk you tell me.
my friend said im as free as a bird, at first i dont get it, but until i realised i hate being in cage; so i convinced myself maybe i was not built to be in a relationship, maybe i'll be happier alone, not being tied to anyone until the loneliness kick u hard in your left kidney, your right kidney feel the pain too.
im hopeless, hopeless romantic, as much as i hate it, i cant help it. i always wish i have a cold heart, so i acted like having one, being stone cold is hard when yours is made from a thin glass. i know a hopeless romantic cant survived in todays world, so i acted like i dont feel anything and cry during the night, withdrew myself first in every relationship when i see even a slightest possible threat, and then convinced myself i did me a favor from being in a relationship that i will regrets or maybe for just being a fucking cowards. idk you tell me.
after a series of failed relationships and a string of exes, i think i have become a wiser 25 years old with different perception of love, i think i found an answer.
I look back at my past relationships, and i realised, its never about who or how he is, but its always about how he makes you feel; safe, happy, secured, makes me feel more like a woman, it ll be good too if he can make me hate myself less and make me want to be the best version of myself;
or maybe the right word is wholesome.
to make me feel wholesome again.
i still want to believe that one fine day, i will, surely, meet the one who was rightly my soulmate from the beginning.
or maybe the right word is wholesome.
to make me feel wholesome again.
i still want to believe that one fine day, i will, surely, meet the one who was rightly my soulmate from the beginning.
i hope i can see u soon love.